Lotus Flower
by spectroscopes
Summary: Moments between Tifa and Aeris throughout Final Fantasy VII. AxT


The first moment that Tifa saw Aeris something strange blossomed inside her, which she did not recognise at first. She only knew it was important Aeris know that she and Cloud were not dating; she only knew it was a relief to learn that Aeris and Cloud were not dating.

Their rapport was easy and immediate. Cloud, the thing which should have driven them apart, was at first an afterthought — a pointless-question-asking afterthought prompting a shared glance between them — and then later the thing they bonded most deeply over.

* * *

When Cloud related his story to them in Kalm, Tifa noticed that Aeris seemed to spend almost as much time watching her and her reaction as she did watching and listening to Cloud. Was she trying to gauge Tifa's feelings for Cloud? Was she trying to assess their relationship, to see how much of a threat Tifa posed?

Tifa knew that she posed no threat to Aeris: how could anyone? She was radiant, shimmering. No one would choose her beside this woman who made flowers bloom in the slums by sheer force of will like an ancient sun-goddess.

* * *

"There's something strange going on here," Aeris said to her at the pub in Junon. She drank harder liquor than Tifa had expected. She had paused for a moment before catching Tifa's eye, and saying, "I know you feel it too."

Tifa's heart stopped for a reason she didn't yet understand. "Feel what?"

"You feel that there is something strange going on with Cloud." Then she had smiled and said, "What did you think I meant?"

"No, nothing!" Tifa said, although the last thing she wanted to talk about was whatever was going on with Cloud.

Aeris shifted a little closer in her seat and said, "What I mean is, I think you're the only person who knows that there is something strange about Cloud," she had put her hand over Tifa's, "and maybe you are the one who needs to break him open."

Tifa pulled her hand away and swallowed a mouthful of her whiskey. "I can't talk to him about it."

"Oh," Aeris said. "That's too bad."

* * *

They often shared rooms on the road and at some point became used to falling into bed fully-clothed together, exhausted from battle, and just seeking the heat and comfort of another body. When Aeris held her, Tifa felt safe; it didn't matter if they were covered in mud and blood and needed to bathe, she slept easiest like this.

Sometimes Aeris cried in her sleep. It was Tifa's first glimpse behind her bubbly, cheerful exterior. On those occasions she would turn to face Aeris and brush her hair back from her face. Aeris never woke, but sometimes she smiled at Tifa's gentle touch.

* * *

They stayed up late at the inn on their last night in Cosmo Canyon. Aeris, who had been introspective and withdrawn for much of their visit, was in higher spirits.

"You know what you need to do about Cloud?" Aeris said.

"Mm?" Tifa responded, knocking back her drink, unsure of where this was leading.

"You need to take a more direct approach."

"Like you, you mean?" Tifa asked, and Aeris giggled.

"Exactly. He'll never see how you feel if you don't take control of the situation."

Tifa looked down into her empty glass. The light refracted through it, casting rainbows on the bar. "How do you propose I do that?"

"Well," Aeris ran her hand lightly up Tifa's upper arm, causing all the little hairs to stand on end, "you're strong. You need to force him to his knees in front of you and make him worship you."

Tifa looked at the hand that still rested on her bicep, as Aeris added in a softer voice, "He wouldn't be able to resist you —" she looked up at Aeris and their eyes met, "no one could."

Tifa's heart stopped. Maybe it was the whiskey which burned inside her; maybe it was the Cosmo Candle suffusing the room in red-gold magic. But she swept forward, knocking her glass over, and pulled Aeris in for a searing kiss.

They kicked all their clothes off before tumbling into bed that night.

* * *

"Doesn't it bother you that those two are always off in a corner together?" Tifa overheard Barret ask Cloud one day, nodding towards her and Aeris.

Cloud paused halfway through polishing his sword. "Bother me?" He looked up at Barret. "Why would it bother me?"

"You're not worried about what they're saying about you? That they're, I dunno man, comparing notes?"

Cloud scratched the back of his head; he had an all-too-familiar expression of confusion on his face. Tifa turned to look at Aeris and saw that she was shaking with silent laughter. She found that she couldn't help but join in and when she looked back she saw that Cloud was staring at them while Barret gave him a pointed look as if to say, 'Exactly what I'm talking about.'

* * *

Aeris ran up to bed alone the night they were stranded at the Gold Saucer. When Tifa knocked on her door, Aeris said she needed to be alone — to think. "I'm here for you, Aeris," Tifa said. She thought Aeris looked a little sad, or maybe tired.

"I know," she said. "But I just have a lot of things I need to think about."

Tifa went to bed alone for the first time in weeks — but when she woke up in the morning Aeris was there, her face buried in Tifa's hair and her arm around Tifa's waist.

* * *

Aeris said nothing as they travelled from the Temple of the Ancients to Gongaga with an unconscious Cloud. The marks he had left on her had blossomed into deep purple bruises on her exposed arms; whenever Tifa saw them she felt her fists clench and unclench. She couldn't forgive Cloud — not yet. She knew it wasn't fair; Sephiroth had made him do it to try to break him, because he knew Cloud would not forgive himself. But she wondered how badly he would have beaten Aeris if Tifa hadn't pulled him back and felt sick to her stomach.

That night, Aeris came to Tifa's room and sat down next to her on the bed. Tifa brushed her hair back from her neck and pressed gentle kisses to the bruises Cloud had left when he gripped her there.

"There's something I have to do," Aeris said. "You might not understand it but I'm the only one who can."

Tifa pressed her face into Aeris's neck and closed her eyes; she felt breathless, constricted. "I feel like I'm losing you," she said. Aeris traced circles on her back but said nothing.

"Aeris," Tifa said, allowing herself to feel angry at her for the first time. "Why did you do that?" She pulled back and met the other woman's eyes. "Why did you ask Cait Sith about you and Cloud?"

Aeris bit her lip, and shook her head. "I don't know. I guess — the only way I know how to make Cloud lighten up is flirting with him."

"Do you know —" Tifa said, feeling like she was drowning, holding back tears, pressing her hand into her chest, "how it felt?"

Aeris pulled her in, holding her tight, "I'm so sorry," she said. "I didn't know you still felt that way about Cloud."

Tifa shook her head and gripped Aeris as tight as she could without hurting her. "It's not how I feel about Cloud, Aeris."

That was the last night they spent together, and the first morning Tifa had awoken alone since they started sleeping together. Cloud awoke not long afterwards and when he told them that Aeris was travelling to the Forgotten City she felt a deep, dank sense of foreboding settle into her gut. It felt like they were in the middle of some huge piece of machinery churning towards an event that none of them could avert.

She never understood this strange bond between Cloud and Aeris but she knew they needed him to find her; somehow he could feel her. Tifa didn't care that Sephiroth could control him, didn't care that Cloud might shatter permanently if anything bad happened. What would they do if anything happened to Aeris? The sun-goddess in their midst, who made flowers bloom inside all of them. Tifa had this sense that their sun was about to be eclipsed and there was nothing they could do to stop it — but she had to try, she had to do something. She made Cloud take them to Aeris.

* * *

Cloud, Sephiroth, and Aeris — the three of them together on the altar.

Tifa collapsed on the floor, unable to process what was happening. Cloud was holding Aeris close to him, her blood all over his hands; Sephiroth raised his arms to the sky.

Tifa was absolutely numb.

Barret gripped her arm and pulled her to her feet, one-handed. "Get up girl!" he said, pointing with his gun arm at the monstrous form of Jenova towering over Cloud.

* * *

This was the last time Tifa touched Aeris. Her mouth, her hair. She brushed Aeris's hair back from her face for the last time; Aeris didn't smile this time, didn't respond at all.

'Thank you,' she whispered to Aeris — this woman who had been so full of life, who had gently unfurled Tifa like a lotus flower. She pressed her lips to Aeris's for the last time, and left Cloud to say his goodbyes.


End file.
